Chapter 20: Searching for Truths

"We each have our own way of living in the world, together are like a symphony. Some are the melody, some are the rhythm, some are the harmony --but it all blends together. Each of us is a part, and each part is crucial. We all contribute to the song of life." - Sondra Williams

Convincing Karl that he should go had been a very difficult job. Zere’maya asked Zassh if she would come along, just to have someone else watching. Zassh was happy to agree.

They rode along, Karl sulking. Few things are more ugly than a sulking dragon.

He hung his head, riding along. Zassh actually lead the way, she had read the maps before they set out, and Karl, though he’d been this way before, didn’t really remember any more than he wanted to go. Zere’maya brought up the rear, feeling magic tingle in her, as if she had had a part of her asleep, novocained, just coming to prickly awareness. It was both painful and delicious.

When they made first camp Zere’maya informed her companions that she was impaired.

“Something has happened – something good. I can’t explain it or tell you why, but though I can’t perform even basic magic I can want to. It’s so wonderful not to be numb, even if I can’t do more, and I think I’m going to get my abilities back. That would be so wonderful.”

“If you were up to full strength what would you do next?” asked Zassh.

Zere’maya smiled. “I would probably turn us right around and head back to Aruin and Inchkin. With normal strength I could take a couple weeks and slowly heal them. I could create just a line of flesh each day, but hair width by hair width I could make first separate girls of them, then complete girls. They live now, but they still have so many limitations. I would be able to make their mother so happy. I can’t do any more for them now without them helping me, and they are just little girls. I can’t persuade them to wish to be apart, so I can’t heal them any further. It would be so wonderful for their mother to stop hating me so. She thinks I’m delaying on purpose, because I don’t like her or something.” said Zere’maya.

Karl thought. “You don’t like their mother?”

“I don’t have to have positive feelings for everyone, though I do what I can. We irritate each other but that is simply not something I would let come between me and people who need healing.” replied Zere’maya.

“That’s like you.” said Zassh, “Reflective, and separating your desires from yourself.” Karl chuckled. Zere’maya scowled.

“Yes.” said Zere’maya definitively. “Ulaanaa annoys me. I wish that she wasn’t around. She pulls out what isn’t Gypsy about me, wakes it up, and pulls on it, worries it like scratching at a wound.”

“At the same time I try not to be annoyed by her. She has never done anything besides respond to my own anger slipping out.” Said Zere’maya.

“Maybe,” said Karl, “she is the person you were brought here to help.”

“It’s possible, and she’s about the last person in the world I would wish to help. That goes well with how the magic usually goes. She was waiting to collect her daughters’ bodies, I think, to make an end of it?” asked Zere’maya.

“She had been beaten by her husband again. She has other children but every time we have swung back around near her settlement she has always come to see her daughters. Her husband has the other children, or she’s left them with others. She doesn’t seem to be the sort of person who would just leave her other children to die.” said Zassh.

“Your mother comes by the caravans too, so the Gypsies tell me.” said Zere’maya. Zassh let out a low whistle.

“This conversation is over.” replied Karl, tight, angry.

Zere’maya looked over to him, riding away. “I don’t remember much about my mother. I remember my father telling me to be compassionate with her. She felt she was cursed. Given by nature small gifts, minor in status, a woman who hated her mother cursed her with great beauty so that her gifts would forever be unseen, all people blinded by beauty until she would fall, as all women do, from grace, falling through time. To be given so little and even that little to remain forever unappreciated, unseen.”

“Maybe she would have liked it here, in this world where women marry each other.” said Karl. Zassh laughed.

“Women are meaner to each other about beauty issues than men are to women,” said Zassh. “Men will discount you, but if you are nice to them they come around.”

“That’s how men are. They will meet, fight like a pair of dogs, then go off best buddies to the bar, battered, bleeding, trenchbuddies – even though they were fighting against each other.” said Zere’maya. “That whole wartime companion thing. Women look at the situation differently.”

“True.” said Zassh. “I think that’s one of the reasons why we spend more time in the big cities, nearer the temples than out in the backwoods where the people are heterosocial.”

Zere’maya laughed. ”Didn’t think you knew that word.”

Zassh made a face. “We are living here, we have to have ways of describing and teaching about the world around us. We Romany are homosocial – once we are no longer children we take either the man’s way or the woman’s way – adult life for a Gypsy man or a Gypsy woman is respected, but our spheres do not meet often. Women are women’s friends, men are men’s friends. Some jobs are men’s jobs, some are women’s jobs. It’s the same in the major towns and cities here. Only everyone is female.” announced Zassh smugly.

“Everyone desires for and identifies with women, true.” said Zere’maya. “Where and when I was when I was your age ‘person’ did tend to mean ‘man’. Have you ever seen movies?” she asked. Both Zassh and Karl looked offended.

“Certainly.” said Karl.



“Then you’ve seen Casablanca, maybe?” asked Zere’maya. One of the truest facts about space is that radio signals travel, and somewhere, out there, if people can catch them and view them they must be very, very confused.

“Sure.” said Karl. Zassh stuck out her tongue at him.

“In a world turned upside down, where the once very powerful are now servants Rick is charismatic enough to be running a thriving casino and bar from a standing start a year and a half back. Nazis are all over the place and society is in shambles, simply not starving is a complex task. There’s a couple, three women, but the men pretty much define how everyone relates to everyone else. At the end of the movie everyone is pretty much relating to Victor – living through him.”

The horses clopped, clopped clopped down the path.

“It’s been a long time since you’ve watched that movie, huh.” said Karl.

“Karl!” reprimanded Zassh. Karl slumped. Zere’maya could feel his sulk deepening even from behind.

“I was a little bit older than Karl, I think.” confirmed Zere’maya. “That was a very, very long time ago. But I feel close to that time in my life, riding here with you.”

“Just how long ago was that?” asked Karl.

Zere’maya cleared her throat tried to think. “That’s not an easy question to answer. Any answer is a lie.”

“All right, then, tell us your three most favorite lies.” said Zassh.

“Lie number one – I’m immortal, for all practical purposes. As long as I don’t leave my two homeworlds my existence is the repetition of a single day. I have never counted those days. What would be the point? Lie number two – I’m in my midforties, somewhere. I was eighteen when I left Earth, and have spent enough days in the service of magic to have lived just a little longer than half my life in the stars, half on Earth. Jaqueline has spent a lot less time off-world, so though I was a lot younger than her, I’ve passed her, I’m older than she is now.”

“Oh, that’s so strange!” said Zassh.

“Tell me about it. One time someone who didn’t want me meddling in magic came to our world and killed us. Midafternoon, we were fine. Just got up and went after him. Once stopped home with a broken leg, that was stupid, and of course for a while was pregnant there. Same day different story. Had to leave home to have our baby.” said Zere’maya.

”No, I mean getting older than your sweetheart!” said Zassh and Karl together.

“That’s not as strange as all that. People can grow older for all kinds of reasons, and a lot of women grow up when their husbands stay younghearted. Or some other way. That much is the same all over.”

“You know what’s different about spending time with you two?” asked Zere’maya. “Most people ask ‘If you could live forever as long as you stay on Ora or Thea, what would you ever want enough to leave?’”

Zassh and Karl laughed. “No one could be tha~~at stupid!”

The party rode on quietly, up the mountain where Karl had come from, long ago.

“Zere’maya?” asked Karl. “I want to ask you something.”

Zere’maya nodded. “It had seemed like I didn’t have anything wise to offer you any more.” she chided.

“Quit that. I’m serious. We’re married for love, but I know that you will go back there – out there – someday. I want something of you.” said Karl.

“What do you have that you need?” asked Zere’maya, surprised.

“I don’t have a name. Not a real name. ‘this is my dragon – Karl.’ It doesn’t even work for what I am. It doesn’t work as a Gypsy man either. I don’t have a mother and father to name me and Mother Faa says she has no name to give me, though she has been looking for a proper name for me ever since I showed up, crying and dirty. Do you have a name to give me?” he asked earnestly. Zassh looked over at him, pleased and nodded her approval.

Zere’maya blushed, looked down, riding along.

“Well?”

“I have named you, in my own daydreams. In my dreams.” The horses clodded along as she breathed in, gathered her thoughts. “When I was very small some of my mother’s family would visit us, even though she had landed, married a local man, was trying so hard not to be a gypsy any more.” Zere’maya breathed again.

“Balint. Her big brother. She looked so happy in his arms, he loved his little sister and he loved me so. I looked to him, strong and beautiful. Our good serpent --- wise and powerful. A great shaman of our people, much later, when I found him searching for my mother, trying to get answers. He would not tell me which of the women they identified as my mother was his sister – he stated that they were all his little sisters. I didn’t understand.” Zere’maya cleared her throat.

“We parted with hard words. On my part. I was so young --- I’ve relived those words and his love over my lifetime wishing that I could clear my offense to him. He told me that there was no offense, I was speaking as a little chaya, a wounded child. I intended offense. I thought for what he was doing, what he had done if I had the power I would have later I would have hit him with all my strength. I did not have that strength so I used all I did have. In the struggle I was cut on the hand – I still have the scar.” She opened her hand, indicating the fine line down her little finger.

“No matter what major healing work has been done to me I’ve kept that as a reminder to rein my temper.

“Not that only bad things I remember of Balint. He loved hazelnut soup. My mother used to make it every time he came, and I went through trouble like you wouldn’t believe to find hazels to plant on my home out there, somewhere.” She gestured. “And he told me legends, and no matter how far I’ve traveled or how long I know my uncle Balint loved me. I doubted that my mother did – sometimes I wondered if she thought of me even while she still stayed with me and my father – but I always was Balint’s darling and he was mine.

Karl rode along with a grin on his face. “That suits me. I’ll be your uncle. I’ll marry Zassh as Balint, first of the Dragon Gypsies.”

“Not the first.” Zere’maya said deadpan. The other two fell into hysterics.

“Laugh if you please. Sometime out there is a planet where I can be dragon-kind, I’ll invite you there and we can find out who makes the scalier. I hope you can stand to share Zassh dear.” She finished in a syrupy, prim voice.

Zassh removed a glove and transformed first a finger, then her whole hand up to her sleeve into blue fire. She extinguished as quickly, regloved, and rode on.

“M’mmmm.” said Zere’maya surprised. “You didn’t even spook your horse. You’ve been meditating, I approve.”

The look on Karl’s face flashed from arousal to shame and embarrassment. He could see understanding in Zere’maya’s eyes.

“I’m so, so sorry, Zere’maya.” he whispered. Zere’maya held out a hand.

“I’ve known. We have always known. We did want to know when you intended to let either one of us know.” said Zere’maya.

It was Karl’s time to be embarrassed. His face turned bright red and he buried his face in his horses’ mane.

“Mother Faa made him pay the price to know,” said Zassh. “To not end his days until he spoke to the dragons as an adult, not a child.”

“I think I’d take the dragons before I had to ride off with the two women I was romancing, who I thought didn’t know, who always knew.” replied Zere’maya.

“I’d almost rather stay with the dragons than have the conversations he’s going to be having.” said Zassh. Zere’maya nodded.

Both women were thinking, serves him right.

“He could have said no to Mother Faa you know.” said Zassh. Zere’maya knew she was talking about this journey.

“He’s not good at that yet.” said Zere’maya.

“H’mmmph..” said Zassh.

“What do men talk about? You know, when they are alone with each other or working together, when women aren’t around?” asked Zassh.

“I’m sure I don’t know.” said Zere’maya.

“They talk about women, and animals, and gossip. Sometimes they punch each other. What do you think we are, animals? Don’t you think I can hear you?!” grumbled Karl.

Zassh felt relief – if he could complain he must be starting to feel better.

“Well, even if a court full of dragons can’t hurt him, and almost certainly they can’t – what do we plan to do?” asked Zassh.

“Well, the worst they can do is kill me. Anything they do to me will affect that sick bookmark the Alleilaians made, which would almost be worth it if they did. You’re chock-full of magic and inclined to make shit up as you go along, just like I always have.”

“Trained by the best.” said Zassh. She made a very rude expression.

“Ooh, all lips no tongue!” said Zere’maya.

“O.K., stop. It’s weird enough we have both shared Karl. I don’t want to go there. I officially don’t want to go there.”

“Why?” asked Karl. The women made one face. Zassh turned back to Zere’maya.

“Why don’t you want to go there?” asked Zassh. Karl groaned.

“Because I can’t confuse you for another tall, dark beautiful woman, whom I don’t love – it’s more than that. It used to be love but now it’s so much beyond anything like that. One woman isn’t the same as another. I belong, I’m part of Jaqueline.” She nodded to Karl.

“I have done what Magic needed. I’m heterocurious enough to partake, and he really, really was lonely, needed a friend, needed a friend in and on him, and we have always known he won’t be lonely any more – and fairly soon. I don’t know how we’ll part but the ending is part of what makes our bond good. You and me – you’d just be exploring the limits of your own heart, body, and loyalties.”

There was a long pause. Zassh cocked her head. “It would be such an attractive thing to do though. You’re so tiny and round, I’m so long and dark.”

“That’s it! Enough! I’ve learned something on this trip, I don’t need to go any further for wisdom. It’s painful to ride horseback with an erection. It’s far worse than just hurting when the women you are two-timing sit and talk about it in front of you instead of fight it out like is supposed to happen. Arrrggghh!” said Karl. The women turned and looked at him. “Did we bring sauce? Keep it up and I’ll want to feed myself to the dragons rather than come home between you two!” Karl made a sound of disgust.

They walked along, up and up the mountain. Normally the people who worked here flew in and out; access was a tough climb for even agile Rom ponies. The people found the climb harder and more tiresome as they went, but it was also obvious that other people regularly walked up.

Eventually they reached a long, flat face where they could stall their horses and rest. Zere’maya walked forward.

“I think this is the cliff they threw you off, trying to kill you.” she said.

Zassh perked up. “You mean we’re here?”

“Yes, something magical went over the edge. Even after all these years you can see the traces, like blood on the rocks. Way down there is where we started, where a small child might have bounced to.” said Zere’maya. She put a hand on Karl, and the marks caught fire, glowing against the dark rocks. Zassh looked at her.

“Evil people. Even if they knew I couldn’t be hurt throwing a small child down a rock is heartless. Why would I be leaking my magic, though?” asked Karl.

“That’s something to think about. All the time I’ve known you it’s part of you – an organ like an eye. The only time this much raw magic would be expressed would be if it was being applied from without – a very strong dye job, working itself in over time – hey look!”

The three peered down the cliff as the marks worked their way up, following each other in a line to Zere’maya’s hand.

“Ooooh, should I let those things get inside me?” Karl had pulled away. Zassh shrugged.

“Take what you bring, leave no trace. You now generate that magic from inside yourself. A little bit more you might not even feel, but if it stays out here it can turn sour, lonely for a life form. Anything with a heartbeat could be chosen and work merry hob on it. It’s the responsible thing to do.” said Zassh. Karl thought about it.

“So that magic has been out exposed to the elements and lonely all this time?” He moved Zere’maya’s hand aside and set his own.

The marks were no longer flat – they were three dimensional, like gleaming metal.

“Shiiiiiit!” said Zere’maya. All right then – each of the streaks of magic ran up Karl’s arm and vanished. “Welcome back, guys.” He turned to the two women.
“Are there any more pools of orphan magic, pools of – me?” he asked. Zere’maya and Zassh linked hands with both of them touching the rock, both of them touching Karl.

Karl felt more than heard a deep sound, more like a vibration.

“Any magic that is 100% still like you, unchanged by any other being or by being used will know where we are and will come home to us.” said Zassh. “And remind me not to touch you accidentally. That was pure nasty – like grabbing an ungrounded wire.”

“It would be.” said Zere’maya. “I’m not trained to use Gypsy magic, what I do is not compatible. It’s just plain wrong for you. I’ve got some use just because I’m me and more because of what I’ve learned here but we aren’t tapping the same sources in the same way. When I was enchanted by the Gypsy men I was struck horribly sick – it didn’t suit me at all. I can drain Karl – but even though that’s the same kind of magic I use it’s still not exactly what I run on. Jaqueline’s completely nonmagical – she can’t take or give me power. It’s a real benefit to us.”

Zassh and Karl looked at each other.

“Okay, folks, I’ve heard of kabalistic magic before. Double snaps and a Happy Meal prize for both of you. Can’t you feel it? The mountain calling to us? Don’t let anything break the power of three. Karl, you can’t use your magic but you’re the reason we’re here. I’m badly hurt – inside. I’d have boiled away a long time before reaching this point without continually drawing on you. And you, Zassh – this is your world. We need your witness. And you, as a just beginning magic user should see this. Your coming out party up this mountain, possibly.”

“Besides which ---“ breathed Karl, “It wants us. It can feel two dragons. I don’t think it can feel you coming at all, Zassh.”

“Yeah, it does.” breathed Zere’maya. “Doesn’t that feel ---- wonderful?” She looked at Karl.

“Can you give her a taste?” asked Zere’maya. Karl took Zassh’s hand. Her eyes flew open.

“It’s like I’ve been soaking wet – and just stepped into hot water, over my head.” said Zassh.

“Warm to the bone. When you’ve been cold for so long you can’t remember being warm. That’s a good way to describe it.” said Zere’maya.

“I just did my first magic.” said Karl. “Was I good?”

“With Zassh’s help and the mountain, you just might be able to use your potential.” Said Zere’maya. “Dragons are meant to be magical. It’s got to have been horrible for you.”

“I don’t remember anything to compare this to. This is – natural.” said Karl.

“Well put.” said Zassh. “Is it good for him?” she asked Zere’maya.

“I have no idea. It’s too late now, we two are going up.“ said Zere’maya definitively.

Chapter 19: Denials

A true believer loves for his brother what he loves for himself. - The Prophet Muhammad

The horses were far from the caravan, and the little stoves in the vardos were enough to make a good deal of food for everyone. There was food available, though not meals in the mountain, and just about any vardo was someplace anyone could find something to eat.

As would be the case anywhere, with any culture, the in-general easier relations with the people they traveled among had made life far less oppositional for the Romanies here.

In some ways persecution preserves culture as it insulates. If all outsiders are enemy camps, you may do what you wish to them -- it's a part of an ongoing guerilla war. If most people are apathetic and some people find them mildly interesting, others actually supportive, well, the romany do not steal from friends. Tit for tat, the most universally useful games strategy known for most cultures.

Zere’maya worked mostly with the women and children. Karl kept more and more to the men. She was quietly happy when he came back one night with the ceremonial dagger around his neck. He was relaxing as he stayed, not that that made his skin any more breakable.

The next little sign was when Karl began wearing a bright bit of cloth around his neck -- the diklo -- like some but not all of the men did.

Every day began the same -- Zere’maya with the women, working, spending time with the children, eating, laughing, drinking. Every day ended the same -- Zere’maya with the women, until she reentered her vardo, to lie curled with Karl.

One morning was different -- just for a second. Karl removed his diklo and tied it around her head. He smiled.
"I have another in my pocket, don't worry." He kissed her, enjoying her as few people have ever enjoyed her.

From then on Zere’maya kept her head covered and moved with the married women. The first time there were looks back and forth, and some approving smiles among the whispers. Mother Faa looked like a stone statue of an old woman, and it was only by comparing how she used to look to how she looked now that Zere’maya could see that the disapproval was gone.

From here on in, when anyone talked about Zere’maya in her earshot, she was no longer diddakai -- she was now rilmulo. It was telling that for the Romany being of mixed heritage was a lower state of life than being undead.

Zaash just continued to smile.

Zere’maya wasn't exactly sure what the men did. The women did almost all of the work, just as in some other minority cultures, and lived only a small part of their lives with the men.

This was a problem for Zere’maya, since she needed to find out everything she could in as many languages as she could find about the dragons. Clearly when she wasn't caning chairs, healing somebody, or sharing in the general culture of the mountain she had to be researching the people Karl came from.

Finding even a place to be alone and think was not easy, but after some searching Zere’maya found a place where she could be left alone -- the children were kept out of the bee cave and few would sit right in the way of the bees themselves. Zere’maya had no fear, and actually liked it there so, lacking any books as such she went to consult the bees.

Zere’maya sat quietly, asking her mind the question -- where do I know of dragons, where do I know of them as rulers?

In her mind, books opened and closed, but she reached out and found a reference in an old bible story, Bel and the Dragon:

Therefore the king slew them, and delivered Bel into Daniel's power, who destroyed him and his temple.And in that same place there was a great dragon, which they of Babylon worshipped.And the king said unto Daniel, Wilt thou also say that this is of brass? lo, he liveth, he eateth and drinketh; thou canst not say that he is no living god: therefore worship him.Then said Daniel unto the king, I will worship the Lord my God: for he is the living God.But give me leave, O king, and I shall slay this dragon without sword or staff. The king said, I give thee leave.Then Daniel took pitch, and fat, and hair, and did seethe them together, and made lumps thereof: this he put in the dragon's mouth, and so the dragon burst in sunder : and Daniel said, Lo, these are the gods ye worship.When they of Babylon heard that, they took great indignation, and conspired against the king, saying, The king is become a Jew, and he hath destroyed Bel, he hath slain the dragon, and put the priests to death.

Zere’maya didn't think that the people here worshipped them as gods exactly, but they did live longer than people did and were seen as wise. Perhaps Karl could be hurt on the inside, like Daniel hurt the dragon, but Zere’maya certainly did not want to hurt or kill him.

She wandered around her mind, looking at references to dragon gods, great powerful leaders.

One of the first things she did once she had the matter well thought out was to go to Mother Faa and Zaash.

She knew he had begun his romance with Zassh – suddenly, surprisingly painfully. There was something different in the way he kissed. He had known another mouth, another habit of tenderness. She had never meant to keep him.

Suddenly she thought of Jackie. She had to do this, sometimes. Best infidelity excuse there could be, mix with others to stay alive. Could Jackie feel this, as she could?

Zere’maya began to laugh.

“Stop that, you’re breaking my mood. What’s so funny anyway?” asked Karl.

“I’m in your arms thinking of another woman.” Said Zere’maya. Karl hesitated. Zere’maya paused. “Now I think you are also thinking of me with another woman.”. Karl reddened, pushed her away.

“I’d never do anything like that to you. To us. Why would I want to do that? What kind of man do you take me for?”

Karl went on and on. Zere’maya sat there, blissful. He could carry on for the both of them, and she could just sit here and drink of him. Blood, sex, or anger – any or all could keep her alive long enough to get back to Jackie.

“Karl!” she said seriously.

“At last, you respond. You make me feel like a fool, just sitting there, looking like a holy icon or something. Doesn’t it even matter to you? Don’t you even want me to be your husband?” Karl was furious.

“There was another thing. Standing there, with my hand on your chest, I could feel it. Your life winding down. Like I can feel my own. Day after day, soon hour after hour – I’ll sense you growing older. Each day, each hour, each heartbeat one less from the beats you had. I can feel time passing.”

“I don’t feel – anything. Nothing different.” Said Karl. “You are losing your mind, accusing me of taking another woman – what other woman? Who would possibly betray our bond?”

“Karl.” Said a voice behind him. They turned to see Mother Faa. “You don’t feel anything because you’ve always been traveling through time, every moment of your life. You have never been off of the wheel of time, so for you there’s nothing to feel, nothing has changed.”

“Monster. “ She addressed Zere’maya. “There must be a talk.”

“I’ve known from the moment we first touched that you could end me with a word – probably just by thinking about it hard. You may have any talk you want to have not because you hold my life in your palms, but because I know you are responsible for all of these lives, here. Whatever you desire, Mother Faa.” Said Zere’maya.

“Who are you talking to?” asked Karl.

“But – but we both turned to look at her.” Said Zere’maya softly.

Karl rolled his eyes.

All right then. Karl partnering with Zaash she could expect, even though she was surprised by the pain. She could work with Karl denying everything and blaming the two of them on her, eventually. That last part had happened before.

Zere’maya knew he had seen Mother Faa. One touch of him and she knew he had heard her just as she had heard her. Now Mother Faa wasn’t there. Of course she hadn’t come here, outside, in the snow, but Mother Faa had been part of the magic that had made the charm, had other magic. She would have been able to work that easily enough.

Maybe Karl didn’t know that he saw Mother Faa? Maybe it had to do with his invulnerability magic?

Quietly, meekly, she followed him back into the caves.

Chapter 18: Leaving Childhood

“I set up for myself the rule that whenever I discern a sounder opinion in any matter whatsoever, I gladly and humbly abandon the earlier one. For I know that those things I have learned are but the least in comparison with what I do not know.” — Jan Hus

The Mountain of Lost Children


After that unnerving experience Zere’maya was glad to get to winter camp -- wherever that might be. She was surprised when they came to a stop less than a half-day's walk.

"Welcome," said a very cheery Zassh, "to our mountain!"

Zere’maya climbed out of the vardo and looked around with astonishment.

There was no sign of the outdoors, but the caverns were flooded with light. High above light streamed in -- but outside it had been murky, even grim.

"Let me take you on a tour." said Zassh. The young woman took Zere’maya's hand and walked her around.

"The generation before us wanted something safe after we were burned out of the last village." said Zassh. "We had planned to build this for generations, and would have built it at the last village, but instead we're practically on top of them and they don't even know!" To Zassh this was a great joke.

"We built this. All of this. It's all on top of the mountain that used to be here mostly, some of it going into the mountains where we mined the materials. Clay is easy to get, and so's everything else we need so the locals never came here. We built the frames from the same iron we build the vardos from. We' switched to iron frames in Baba Faa's time because we found the mine and unfound a good source for wood. It was natural, use what you have." Zassh swung her arms around like a tour guide.

"And each group who comes here adds some. While Karl is here we can do a lot of ironwork, and the other two work to fill in between and plaster. Our clay tents are climbing into and up the mountain, away from the community, up along the river mostly. Deep in the mountains we keep our meats cold.

"How do you keep it all dry?" asked Zere’maya.

"We grease and wax the wool we gather, and the plants and trees root on it. We add some dirt, but you know we're not farmers. Since we're on the away-sun side no one comes to look, and I don’t imagine they have ways of declaring war on a mountain. It's such a maze inside even if someone did get in to create trouble we could continue to move around, almost like we do when we're among them." said Zassh.

"You know how afraid I was of the cold -- how in the world did you keep all this secret?" asked Zere’maya.

Zassh was serious. "We were busy being out, and had all the time to do that. When we thought of talking about it we went back to the present, especially in front of you, so you could be easy and happy and *be* with us. You're diddakai, not all of us, so you have a way to understand but not everything. And it's not enough to have a gypsy mother. You didn't have your tribe. You needed to be a part of a tribe to really be a gypsy."

Zere’maya thought back, deep into a kernel of hurt. "I wonder if my mother had a mountain deep in my world to hide from me."

Zassh again sounded serious, also like she had said what she was about to say as often as anyone would hum a familiar tune to herself, without thinking, simply being there in the singing again. "You had six mothers, and a Gorgio father far away but close enough to hurt your mind and teach you that you only had her. It's completely possible that none of the women was the one who you came through the legs. She may have remembered you, but such things can slip a woman's mind so easily when she is all alone in the Georgio world. So -- she slipped away back to herself.

“When you came to find her, you wanted to slip back to her, slip back in. You had a whole caravan's worth of women and all you had to do is pick one, and the others would have been aunts. And so you still didn't understand, and some of the magic in the world died. You were born of rebellion, love with hands reaching out, knocked aside."

Zere’maya looked around, looking at the ends of the caves, made by children's hands -- Zere’maya could see the little handprints in the plaster. Most were women's size but some would have to have been the little children, playing and building sometimes with their mothers, but always tightly, packed in with other people.

She was sure that if she looked long enough she would find handprints bigger than any Rom's handprints -- handprints that belonged to Karl. On adolescence, Zere’maya knew now, the boys were given little knives to wear as pendants on their necks. Zere’maya had not known that three months ago, but suddenly, she knew -- knew, mind you -- that the Rom still saw Karl as a boy rather than a man.

"So it never freezes here?" asked Zere’maya. Zassh smiled with accomplishment.

"Never worse than a crisp fall day. Never will your eyes freeze shut here," said Zassh. She had said what she had said so often it passed right through her mouth without impacting her mind, thought Zere’maya. I know I've heard the words, but why don't I remember hearing them? I mean, I might have, but I don't remember. She shivered again and turned to Zassh.

"The light comes in from mirrors we have installed in a nearby glacier, and which are charmed to stay aligned. Not our year, but the year after or two years before us has another diddakai with magic. She had the mirrors made, then we put them where she said to. The light shining off the mountains doesn't attract any interest I suppose. Because of the mirrors we have better than just the reflections off of the glaciers. We have about as much light as we can have, morning to night and She was cheered by us. She married in, became a full Rom with a very nice man. She has found herself, where she could not out with the Georgios. The one parent who is of the people nourished her and fed her more than the rest."

Zere’maya nodded, walking along. The whole place had the feel of a huge series of circus tents, brilliantly decorated and full of the sounds of children laughing and playing. Most of the people were children. It would seem that the Romany had a good, safe place here.

Soon Zere’maya had to do what all people do every three or four hours. The bathrooms were holes in the floor, as you might imagine, but there was running water and all she could ever want. According to Zassh the solids went to a huge worm generating project, where they made castings and worms for the Georgio. The liquids went to a huge pond deeper in the mountain where none of the Rom went. They heard that the Georgio picked mushrooms there. Zere’maya knew from the description that there was more than enough processing so that the Giorgio would not be hurt. The Rom were very careful about cleanliness, especially cleanliness that matters.

The bathing rooms were a Turkish delight -- separate for the men and women, of course -- but all the soap, hot water, and all of the rest there could possibly be, could possibly imagine with experience in bathing that extended to hundreds of planets. She knew for a certainty at this point, as certain as seeing an Amish child carrying a plastic lunchbox, that somehow, some way these Gypsies were in contact with the thousand worlds -- maybe even further than Zere’maya had gone.

Zere’maya looked with longing. Zassh was practically bouncing on the tips of her toes ready to lead her on. Zere’maya could deny her nothing.

"I'm sure you expected chickens and the like, but we have none of that here. We have the stable for the horses and the place for the dogs, but I just know that you're going to love this!" Zassh took her up several flights of stairs and a long ramp. Halfway up the ramp Zere’maya's nose, then mouth, then very skin radiated with the scent of bees.

True, there was no livestock here besides the horses and the dogs, but to Zere’maya's delight -- there were bees. Lots and lots of bees. In fact, the gypsies brought fresh bees to Mary-sue the farmers outside each year since the hard winters made keeping bees alive outdoors so impossible.

"So the farmers where we stayed were just giving you some of our own back," said Zassh happily. "Those few who know us and love us and shelter us. Some of them have actually been in the mountain, which hardly ever happens at all."

"I’ve seen who we stay with. The sort of person I trust," said Zere’maya.

Zassh nodded. "And we hold that trust. They try to keep the bees alive, but the winter, it's so brutal here. We always re-queen them, and take them bees as the best, bringing back. We have people who do mostly that, now, carrying the hives around. During the winter when the Gorgio's bees were dying in the cold the gypsie's bees were making splits, raising queens

"We young women make the queens -- here." Said Zassh. Zere’maya had done the task since childhood. Now was early in the season. Later the gypsies -- mostly young girls and women -- would begin the careful work of making queens, scooping out the individual larvae into queen cups, making nucs, preparing for their journeys around and back again.

"We let the bees out during the summer, but we don’t get much honey, but it's wildflower honey -- very valuable. There is a fairly minimal production of honey during the summer months, with the bees leaving their caves through a door in the rocks, but during winter they gorge on the sugar and supplements bring back with them -- but most of the money is in the bees themselves. The caves with the bees have floors made up of wildflowers, mostly dandelions, to fortify the bees eating the pollen substitutes."

"Next you'll tell me that this world is dotted all over with caves!"

Zassh laughed. "There are", Zassh explained, "two other winter camping spots so that everyone could have a longer traveling circuit. One of them was a cave system, one was at the other end where the weather was already warm enough for comfortable life. This cave system, though, was by far and away the oldest and largest." Zassh was proud to tell Zere’maya that Mother Faa had had a lot to do with the building of it.

Every three years Mother Faa's caravans came here, leaf springs down to the bottom hauling in preserved meat and cheese, charcoal, and sugar. Every spring the gypsies left bringing out everything they had made during the hard four winter months. A few people stayed behind to guard their home and maintain the bees, a job looked on as a near punishment and rotated away with great gladness.

Thanks to the emptying out of the shelter for most of the year there were no serious pest problems, because different people lived here between years there were no serious 'turf' problems, and because children enjoy playing with mud and pouring, the natural growth of the caverns from year to year further up into the mountains and further away from the nearest Gorgio settlement was, frankly, child's play. To build the caverns was like building a basket with slender iron straps and sealing it off with native clays.

The result of the protected winter quarters was that the gypsy population was growing quickly, and with it the amount of territory the individual bands could cover.

"The end result," said Karl, happily, "is that you'll not be seeing much of me these next four months. There aren't many friends of The People who are fireproof. I can work the iron with my bare hands and do other tasks dangerous to others. Because of me we can build much faster."

Zassh looked very proud. "Yes, the first fireproof Rom, our husband is." Zere’maya looked around. She could imagine how the basic tent structure could be used to make the underground rooms, and how freshly made stone insulation could be carried around in Karl's arms.

Zere’maya looked at Zassh, finally understanding. "You and Mother Faa, you think of different things, don't you?" Zere’maya asked. Both Karl and Zassh nodded.

"You two remember, he isn't my husband -- yet. But you're hoping I can do some sort of healer magic so he can be?" Karl and Zassh nodded.

"Do you want Zassh?" asked Zere’maya. Karl looked shamefaced.

Zassh laughed. "He knows it's best to let me have my way." said Zassh.

Zere’maya chuckled. "Sorry. I forgot that I'm not in a society of love matches. I have to know -- how long before I came along did you two have this thought out?" said Zere’maya.

"Mother Faa can't possibly boot out Zassh, and the whole community likes me. They just have to find some way to put me under the rules of the Rom, which isn't too terribly easy." said Karl.

"With a spirit of evil as your friend, a woman of rebellion, if there is a way she may find it." said Zere’maya.

"Well, the first thing to do is to act like a man and not a boy in the mountain." said Zassh. Karl agreed.

“The Mountain of Happy Lost Children has its own rules, unlike any other place where the People find themselves -------“ Karl’s voice trailed off.

“Honestly, you look like you are going to be sick, right here. What in the world is wrong with you?” asked Karl.

Zassh looked serious. Zere’maya was more green than pale. “In my world, the world where I was a child the Mountain of Happy Lost Children was another sort of place.”

“Sh-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch.” comforted Zassh. “Another world. Another place. Maybe the same place but not the same world.” Zere’maya was shaking, began to cry. Zassh held her, kissed her head.

“What is wrong with her?” asked Karl, exasperated.

“Shut up, Karl. This isn’t about you.” Said Zassh. “This is woman’s work.”

Karl walked off, grumbling. Zassh held on to Zere’maya as if she were a child.

“I feel like I’m in the mountain, I really do. This whole world, it’s like being a child again, powerless, irrelevant.” She held Zassh’s face between her two hands.

“Dead. This is like being dead, it’s crazy to be in a place named for what happens to children who die, forever left to play until their mothers show up. I can’t do magic, I can’t fix this, I can’t really marry Karl, I know you will and you should – I want to make an ending of this and I can’t. It’s like once being famous, once being young ----“

“Sh-ch-ch-ch-ch” Zassh comforted her. ”Some of us are children. Older. I can’t imagine what it’s like to not be able to do what you once did, to remember what you once were and not be able to move on –“

“Good.” said Zere’maya rasping. “I would not want you to know, to even have a hint of it. No friend would want another to have such knowledge.” She kissed Zassh roughly on the lips.

“Never my lover, never my child, I’m just holding your place, because I have to, to continue to live. I’m bound to try – every moment winding down, just a little bit smaller. I don’t know how to hold on, Zassh.”

“People don’t die of heartbreak, not directly. What you are hinting at – I’ve seen you think about – you’re not a malformed one, holding the healthy ones back. You’re not in pain – though you’re broken inside and anyone can see that something inside you is getting worse. All you have to do is not bring dying to do, to wait –“

“Praise God you don’t know what you’re asking me!” broke in Zere’maya.

“I’m going to get some medicine from mother Faa. Then you can be unconscious for a while. At least I can get you so you won’t feel.”

Zassh left Zere’maya sedated in her vardo. She walked past Karl.

“What are you about now?” asked Karl.

“Power. I need lots of raw power.” Said Zassh grimly. I just gave enough painkiller to put someone covered with burns unconscious who doesn’t have a scratch on her, not physical.”

Karl frowned. “I don’t like it. You’re losing your childhood. This isn’t right for you, or for you and me.”

Zassh turned. “Shut up. Shut up already and leave me to something I understand. Go away and be bothersome somewhere else. I don’t want my childhood any more. It’s a tattered, outgrown thing. I’m going to bury it in the garden and let the worms break it down. Childhood is not for me. Not any more.

“I don’t understand you any more.” Grumbled Karl. Zassh laughed.

“You finally say something that makes sense. You lie beside her, you lie in her and you don’t know anything about her. You keep her body alive, but you don’t know the woman. I -----“ Zash stopped.

Karl circled her. The two scowled at each other

“Little girl.” said Karl.

“I want to have everything Zere’maya has.” said Zassh evenly. “Tonight, late. You.”

“Sounds like a challenge.” said Karl evenly.

“Later. After I’ve found what I can.”

“I’m strong.”

“I’ll bring my magic.” The sound in Zassh’s voice was like a growl.

“Do you want to sit on me or kick my ass?”

“As long as that ass belongs to Zere’maya it surely doesn’t matter, surely not. I’ll find out if you can feel pain tonight. I’m going to need something, I can feel it.“ she scowled.

“What you want, it isn’t gypsy.” sneered Karl.

“Another nonsense. Another bullshit. I’m Gypsy, what I want, makes it Gypsy. Are you man? Or her pillow? What are you, really? A child forever? I’m not a child, not anymore, and you – I don’t care what you’ve done with your body – you’re a child. A big, overgrown, boychild fat around the edges, full of insecurities, you’re no man you’re – a saddle. A saddle for a succubus.” said Zassh.

“Enough.” said Karl. “I agree. Where and when?”

Zassh smiled grimly. “Find me and then you’ll know. Watch over Zere’maya, keep her sedated, or at least as calm as you can. I’m going to do something.“

“I felt that. I felt a shiver deep inside me.” said Karl. Zassh stared into his eyes.

“It’s a start.”

____________________

Karl was waiting for her in his forge. It’s where he felt most at home, where he felt like he belonged. Zassh had always loved the flames, the ripples of heat. Wherever they went next, this felt like where Zassh would meet him.

He heard his childhood friend step in. Somehow, some way, he had never noticed before that barefoot – their heads were level, she was as tall as he was. Somehow he still remembered her as little. How long had it been – suddenly he could not remember. Zere’maya was little, and pudgy. She stood exactly as high as his heart. Zassh looked eye to eye straight at him.

“What in the world have you been doing? I’ve been waiting here for hours – hours!” said Karl. Somehow he was becoming more frightened. She looked at him as a wolf might – staring, dark.

“I’ve been talking with the elders.” she said. He felt his skin shiver.

“Talking? Just talking?”

“The world was made with words, God’s words, Boro dom. Words are more than enough. More than enough.” she said quietly.

“Take off your clothes.” said Zash.

“What! Here?” asked Karl incredulous. Zassh began to undress. Here then. She stood there naked, like a man, like anyone, then kicked her clothing well away.

Karl began to guess, impossibly, improbably. “Oh no ---“ he had heard of Gypsies that would were—mostly wolves, some big cats, some creatures like dragons, improbable though it would be that Zassh –

“Oh no, you’re my best friend I can’t couple with a wolf not even if it’s you Zassh please, oh, please –“ He could hear himself beginning to scream. Zassh put up a hand. He knew that now no one could hear him. He was invulnerable, true, but Zassh, this didn’t even seem like her, he knew there was no point in trying to run from her. There was still the forge. He began slowly to inch around, stripping to save the clothing Zere’maya had gotten him which would burn. He soon had his back to the door.

“Good.” said Zassh. “I want to chase you.” Karl jumped into the fire, looked back.

First her face looked fuzzy. Then abruptly, like a match lighting, Zassh herself became fire. Then Ice, then lightning.



“Boro Dom, thank you it’s all Zere’maya said it would be!”

“You expect with my body I can outdo that?” whimpered Karl.

Zassh smiled. “Let’s find out. You, me, the only fireproof Rom. Come, let’s find out what I can do.” She stepped into the forge, flame mixing into flame.

Naked in the fire, He looked at her. This was Zassh? Made of fire, then ice, then lightning? He saw her smile, even seeing through her.

The first time they kissed, they would always remember, Zassh’s lips were fire. He could do this. He could do this with Zassh.

Only his. Only her. Only he could mount a woman made of fire and ice and lightning.

Far later that night Karl climbed into bed beside Zere’maya, tenderly. She rolled over.


“You smell all smoke and iron-y.” she commented. “That’s good. I’m glad you’re using the talents you have.” She snuggled back up to him and fell asleep again.

He cradled her gently. The first time, he thought, he’d ever met another person who had ever been a dragon – practically the first time he’d met anyone who had ever ~seen~ a real dragon – she had been wearing a dirndl. A real traveler from the other worlds who looked like everyone else – maybe more ordinary than most.

To impress me a perfectly ordinary young woman has become something extraordinary – not because she has to be, but to have him. He’d known she wanted him for years.